THE STRANGER
------------------------------------------------------------------------------UDDALAK BANERJEE
professor yadav in his general lecture on economics shouted,"In life everything works in economics.Indias sex ratio is skewed. It has more males than females.what it creates is that the lesser available commodity (here the girl) hence enjoys a greater market demand among the more abundantly available commodity( the boys).If the sexratio had been inverted then obviously it would have been opposite as we can see in live example of the filmstars.(smiles)This cycle doesnot end here.IT goes on and on. When the cost of the girl grows high we say it is inflated.we start to say things like she is not good and had many relationships etc etc just to decrease that demand and many of us also feel that her boyfriend is a NRI and i will never be able to get to her and so on .Same happens in case of economies when price of daily commodities grow high the demand falls and market speculations start and share markets start to fall .Everything in this world is interrelated but not by coincidences but by economics .Starting from the battle for subjugation to the battles of independence all wars without any exception have been governed by economics in some form or the other.".
Fifteen minutes after the lecture i was still pondering on the shear scale of the term "Economics".In life sir said that there usually are no natural coincidences and that the world is operated by a fixed strata of hierarchy created by economics and politics.In a mundane world of day to day occurrences triggered by a continuous rat race for relative better living .In the continuous struggles of life often experience takes a toll on the spontaneous outflow of emotions.Often i felt tired of the dull monotony of life and the regularity with which it always continued quite blatantly satisfying the life cycle of business economics when the supply meets demands and in the event of any shortage just try harder.After one exam demand came another.After just meeting them there was again another exam and after supplying to that too came another and life moved on in an unending loop.Disillutioned and frustrated i was gasping for some oxygen out of the cycle something spontaneous and natural to happen.But then that was always eluding.
In amidst a regular life among twenty million people of the city of kolkata from among the thousands of skyscrappers suddenly from oblivion came a 'break' .Well this particular 'break' was not just a line break or a loop break as most computer science engineers would often associate.IT was kind of a sudden stop of the very flow of life which has always run along in its own way in a school to home ,home to office and office back to home.To make the plot a bit more clear to introduce myself i must say i am just an ordinary computer science engineer who had passed out from the National Institutes of Technologies and have been working in a software company named birlasoft and had just cleared my mba exam (CAT) and was travelling to delhi for my interview there.As such ,the number of train jeorneys i have had are replete since i was a resident of westbengal and my college was NIT raipur which was in Chattisgarh.It was mostly a night jeorney in which i used to just take my luggage up into my seat and then take my dinner and sleep away the time as the train used to march to its destination.My parents being Bengalis were always very conservative and used to alert me against any conversation or sharing of food saying that "the days are not good and people often dupe others into taking food and then disappear with the luggage".Well i have had one such experience too so i was alert as always thereafter.
The train was a sealdah-new delhi duronto. My interview was scheduled on 4th march and the mail of confirmation came in late so i had only one day to book the ticket.Most of the other trains showed reject as even the tatkal tickets were all soldout.However by some devine grace i found a ticket in sealdah duronto for 2nd march .IT was extremely fortunate for me because as such one can never expect to get a long distance train ticket for the train the very previous day.However miraculously i got it and i took my resume folder and other documents and arranged them in two small bags and was off to delhi.I came to the platform early keeping in mind the high traffic in kolkata thesedays specially in the Behala region where the metro flyover is under construction.As usual i took my seat which was side upper and sat there for sometime.The other people in the compartment were all boys and most of them looked thoroughly professional.Some was busy with his ipod ,some with books,some with telephonic conversation.In duronto express they serve meals so i was waiting for them to serve me too.
Amidst all the hustle and bustle with passengers taking turns to take their seats and the waiters moving from one part of the compartment to another.In stepped a girl ,around twenty years of age,rounded face ,dark luminous eyes,cherubic smile ,verymuch resembling a little fat-er Anoushka sharma .
MC said "eki seat e dujon?"
I was suddenly taken aback by the sudden question and the various implications of the said question.I smiled and said ," Na mane amar uporer seat ta".
She looked back at the coolie and said ,"koto debo? 200 taka".
The coolie was taken aback because even he did not expect that for carrying just one large suitcase across the platform one could be so benevolent enough to give him 200 RS in first shot.The coolie was old and realised the simplicity of her heart . He mildly said ,"100 taka dilei hobe"
She took her seat and immediately drew the curtains so as to avoid any visibility from the rest of the compartment.
No further conversation took place .She sat silently for some time and soon her phone began to ring . She picked it up hurriedly ," ha ma,pouchegechi, Oke 100 taka diye diyechi ,ekdam right time e pouchechi ar ektu hole train miss hoye jeto.puro platform tai chutte chutte eshechi.coolie ta na hole je ki hoto ke jane! oke 100 taka diye diyechi"
In the mean time the time was 18:40 and the train started to move and soon gathered pace. Her phone rung again," ha ma,ar bolo na puro comopartment e chele bhorti..ki ar korbo bolo? flight e ele bhalo hoto.. ha mashi ke bole diyechi..kanna kati koro na..amaro kanna peye jache..."
All this while the light from the fringes of the curtains were falling straight into her eyes making a kaleidoscopic effect.Her eyes were well lined and rounded matched well with the face and gave very much the Anoushka sharma look.In the refracted light which was bright in the middle and lighter in the fringes it made a fabulous dreamy look.For sometime i looked at them but then it was kind of unpleasant as she was constantly avoiding eye contact.Now with the curtains drawn in a side lower seat there was conspicuous space issues.With such a mesmerising look in her eyes it was hard to concentrate on anything else.
I somehow decided to break the charm and tried to concentrate more on her belongings so as to know more about her. The luggages were all straped with airport spicejet tags which portrayed that she might have been a regular passenger in flights.Her pink salwar and yellow head gear was blantantly conspicuous. For the first half an hour i was thinking of reading something so as to boost up my knowledge base and help secure the potent self based innovative answers to the questions like " why mba?" and "why this college?" .But then it was getting kind of boring in the middle because with the light falling in her eyes and her unique mannerisms ,it was like toiling within oneself to try to deviate attention from what was very obviously attractive.
For sometime i mentally searched for some issues.I tried out lines like "so you are a regular in airlines? " , " are u an airhostess?" , " is this the first time u have boarded a train ?"," your parents really care for you so much ..these bengali parents are all alike ...even my.." , and so on.. but then none seemed suitable. I took out my mobile and played around with it for some time and then switched on the radio and tried listening to it . But all though the songs were good i was not able to concentrate. Something within was gnawing and asking me to start the conversation because hardly ever such an occurance happens.The more time passed in this constant dilemma the more hard it became to strike a conversation.
Then suddenly on an impulse i said,"acha apni ki It sector e kaj koren?"
And suddenly she turned around and for some time time stopped. I felt within that what an idotic question it was.
MC said," Na ami actually MBBS er preparation korchi..Exam dite eshechilam mashir kache."
In my bid to prolong the conversation I said ,"konta CBSE PMT?"
MC said ," ha."
As the conversation seemed to meander to an end ,i wanted to a add on and i felt lets talk about it even further.
I said ,"IT is a tough exam , i wanted to clear it but then i could not and moved over in engineering . I did my engineering from NIT "
MC said," Amar dada o REC theke pass koreche REC calicut"
I said ,"O" Everything seemed to stop again. I said ," CBSE prochondo competitive exam..tomar kamon holo?"
MC said," Amar khub bhalo hoini amar mone hoi ebaro fail hoye jabo. Time e chilo na last e physics ta korchilam time tai shesh hoye gechilo.."
Conversation moved on thereafter .I told her about how to go about it.I told her to go for physics first followed by chemistry and end with biology because it saves time and is also beneficial in terms of memory utilisation .Most questions in biology are straight forward and if u know u tick it types.And then she started to say about her family ,her brother,her father ,her mother and what they feel about her.And the conversation drew on and on. She told how she has a friend from school days who was in love with her and that he was from a different caste and yet she opted for him.She told that how possessive she was and how she always wanted 100% attension from her friend .She told how exasperated she felt at times over his cold reactions in which he would not exert himself anymore and say that "ami to tomake agei bolechilam je i wont marry you.find yourself someone else".
At times i felt really sad for her at other times i felt that she was just the type of woman i would want in my life.SHe is someone who is kind of a " mad" as she said her parents often allude to her as .She never thought of money and wanted absolute peaceful life with lots of love.Which coincidentally was my stand throughout. I always wanted peace and love and hence wanted just an iim or xlri degree for the sake of it only to later opt out of the race for money and settle somewhere in the villages and teach village folks.I wanted a slow ordinary life . And she echoed my sentiments.She too felt out of sync with the world outside especially the fast paced life of delhi and often said how she suffered in the mundane fast life there.How her friends behave with her and how the approach their life from a totally materialistic angle.With every word she spoke it somehow appealed to my heart making it all the more absorbing for me to hear to her . Because it was like hundred years since i ever heard them .All her ways approaches to life which included her thought process exactly resonated my mothers. I could not believe or think of anyone all my life who could think so similar.
Out from the world of algebra and economics it appeared to me that i have finally made the leap .I did not know where that leap would end up to but given that she belonged to same caste and had the same tastes as i do it meeting seemed to be inevitable .But then time was passing fast .I wanted to stop it somehow.Time flew by from lunch to dinner.It was growing dark outside and soon the lights in the compartment went off too.IT was just 10:00 in the clock too.I was a habitual late sleeper and guess what she was the same too.I too drew the curtains and it was now just one coup of lowerside berth where no one else was looking at.The entire world seemed to begin and end there itself.The time around had just stopped no light apart from the occassional ones that came from passing houses and platforms few and far between.Life outside appeared dreamy too.As if we have become part of the prehistoric era again.The era when people used to think about nature ,love and dreams more than ambition and self fulfillment.Her eyes felt so lively ,her thoughts so syncronous and it appeared that every word she told spoke straight to my heart.I listened and listened to every word she spoke without feeling a spec of boredom. As gentle breeze began to flow with AC gaining strength hour by hour . IT was becoming colder in the coup.She began to talk about my ambitions and then that i will be an ideal husband someday .She asked me about my relationships.I was charmed and taken up entirely and completely to the brink of human existance.IT was appearing to be a complete coup of reality and imagination taking over to the entirety.This train jeorney and meeting someone so syncronous ,someone who was exactly whatever i ever desired for. Someone who had the belief on the very same fundamentals that i always felt true and often been at war with the world.The line between reality and fiction was fast fading.
In my childhood, my mother used to say " life is decided by fate and no body can conquer fate. When there will be time it will happen it cannot be predecided .IT is nature that will always rule in the end.".When i was talking to her i felt the very same. She was loquacious ,elaborate,dramatic ,childish and at the same time very refreshingly different and perhaps hence peerless.The buildings in my mind build by decades of hierarchial learning and heuristic understanding seemed to finally give way to that reasoning that i was born with.The feelings that lay supressed for years for want of support in the name of reality somehow found a peer in her. ANd the eternal bond seemed unbreakable.I knew that she has had a relationship.But i also knew that even if she has had 10 others it doesnot matter because in the end she is peerless and that she speaks what innately ever wanted to speak. Relationships happen and given the current worldorder every woman has more number of relationships and atleast she was frank and candid enough to voice her opinion which is far rarer and devine in itself.
As the arms of the clock began to speed up ,i was becoming all the more obstinately driven to not to let the conversation end. I just did not want her to disappear again . I did not want this conversation just to be locked in the pages of print or maybe just a muse of my life .I wanted to reify into something realistic tangible and may be have her metamorphised as my wife.THe time in this matter seemed to be the biggest enemy. The eternal questions of the likelyhood of a relationship to transgress the very fortress fortified by time seemed looming large in the horizons of freed dreams who wanted to live on few moments more.I did not know how long i will be able to hang on to her so i tried my best to paint her face in the diction of my mind for ever trying to scribble it so hard that for ever and ever it can never be forgotten .THe very crivaces created shall last on till destiny swings.I looked blatantly focussed on her face for i knew i might not see her again.
I told her ,"that this jeorney will never be forgotten . And will live on for time indefinate .Irrespective of whether we meet or not"
Her eyes shone in the dark and perhaps from within i felt the words had resonated too.
Clock stuck 2:00 am . IT was densely dark outside and everyone in the cabin had fallen asleep.Destiny has played it tricks.I was just not being able to sleep but then i knew i had interview tomorrow too. I still did not want to leave for even if i fail i felt i would be happy for ever that i met her .I took out my mobile and she snatched it from me. She looked in the messages ,inbox,sent items,logs and then the pictures and then the alarm. SHe put an alarm at 2:00 am. This alarm was a reminder for the moment in time that shall live on. Since she touched the phone even that felt to be sacred.I never turned off the alarm ever again.IT keeps ringing ever since.
After taking leave from her it was tough to go to sleep. I felt as if sleep could have waited and we could have chatted for sometime more. The words were constantly resonating in my mind.I could envisage in my mind a place in the forests where we have a house and we play ludo everyday. Somewhere where time never starts.We have kids and they live on without any pressure of performance and ancestry.Somewhere down within i felt that my mind has found peace in her.At around 4:00 am i came down and found her fast asleep. I looked at her for sometime and looked extremely like a child.With dishevelled hair all around her face.I felt a sudden splurge of diverse multitudes to wake her up and talk on or atleast do something exhorting that would keep her to me forever and ever so that the day i die i could see her face.But then someone else also woke and was coming towards the berth so I quickly moved the curtains again and moved up and took my seat and tried hard to sleep.
I woke at around 8:00 am and came down quickly and then took the breakfast. THe waiters while serving used to ask me direct perhaps they thought that i was her husband.Which i felt good at from within.It felt kind of warm and happy and measured to be a husband at such short a notice.I knew there was a age gap between her and me but then i felt it was obvious in most marriages and internally i started to feel as if she was my bride. In the morning she told more about her parents and how they are overtly sensitive about her .To which i said ,"tomar baba ma tomake bhalobashe khubi tai restrict kore ..ta na hole aajkal ar ke kake restrict kore..prochondo bhalo bashe tai".
She said," Amar prochur friends ache ..Apni dekben apnar moner moto onekei thakbe oder modhe...ami oder introduce kore debo apnar sathe.."
I said,"tar darkar hobe na.Amar mone hoi na je mon o konodin ar kotha bolte chaibe bole."
She did not say anything more. The waiters came for tip. I gave 50 Rs .QUite impulsively she gave Rs 100 perhaps observing that they were treating me as her husband and she wanted her independence to be underlined.
Just after sometime she said,"deklen to apnar jonye amar loss holo?"
I said,"na dileo hoto tomar"
As station drew closer. I asked her for one picture of hers to remember all my life. SHe did not give me any. But then i looked at her just enough to draw her picture in the canvass of imagination so as to be a lost pencil painting which perhaps will traverse the sea of time for ever. I helped her alight from the train where her father took her with him. I stayed put for sometime in the station and also glanced back a few times to look at her .After coming back i was thinking again to go back in and may be take the same metro to and fro a few times. But then it would not be right because if it is fortune that had figured this meeting may be it will figure another one.If not in this life then the next. ===================================================================================
------------------------------------------------------------------------------UDDALAK BANERJEE
professor yadav in his general lecture on economics shouted,"In life everything works in economics.Indias sex ratio is skewed. It has more males than females.what it creates is that the lesser available commodity (here the girl) hence enjoys a greater market demand among the more abundantly available commodity( the boys).If the sexratio had been inverted then obviously it would have been opposite as we can see in live example of the filmstars.(smiles)This cycle doesnot end here.IT goes on and on. When the cost of the girl grows high we say it is inflated.we start to say things like she is not good and had many relationships etc etc just to decrease that demand and many of us also feel that her boyfriend is a NRI and i will never be able to get to her and so on .Same happens in case of economies when price of daily commodities grow high the demand falls and market speculations start and share markets start to fall .Everything in this world is interrelated but not by coincidences but by economics .Starting from the battle for subjugation to the battles of independence all wars without any exception have been governed by economics in some form or the other.".
Fifteen minutes after the lecture i was still pondering on the shear scale of the term "Economics".In life sir said that there usually are no natural coincidences and that the world is operated by a fixed strata of hierarchy created by economics and politics.In a mundane world of day to day occurrences triggered by a continuous rat race for relative better living .In the continuous struggles of life often experience takes a toll on the spontaneous outflow of emotions.Often i felt tired of the dull monotony of life and the regularity with which it always continued quite blatantly satisfying the life cycle of business economics when the supply meets demands and in the event of any shortage just try harder.After one exam demand came another.After just meeting them there was again another exam and after supplying to that too came another and life moved on in an unending loop.Disillutioned and frustrated i was gasping for some oxygen out of the cycle something spontaneous and natural to happen.But then that was always eluding.
In amidst a regular life among twenty million people of the city of kolkata from among the thousands of skyscrappers suddenly from oblivion came a 'break' .Well this particular 'break' was not just a line break or a loop break as most computer science engineers would often associate.IT was kind of a sudden stop of the very flow of life which has always run along in its own way in a school to home ,home to office and office back to home.To make the plot a bit more clear to introduce myself i must say i am just an ordinary computer science engineer who had passed out from the National Institutes of Technologies and have been working in a software company named birlasoft and had just cleared my mba exam (CAT) and was travelling to delhi for my interview there.As such ,the number of train jeorneys i have had are replete since i was a resident of westbengal and my college was NIT raipur which was in Chattisgarh.It was mostly a night jeorney in which i used to just take my luggage up into my seat and then take my dinner and sleep away the time as the train used to march to its destination.My parents being Bengalis were always very conservative and used to alert me against any conversation or sharing of food saying that "the days are not good and people often dupe others into taking food and then disappear with the luggage".Well i have had one such experience too so i was alert as always thereafter.
The train was a sealdah-new delhi duronto. My interview was scheduled on 4th march and the mail of confirmation came in late so i had only one day to book the ticket.Most of the other trains showed reject as even the tatkal tickets were all soldout.However by some devine grace i found a ticket in sealdah duronto for 2nd march .IT was extremely fortunate for me because as such one can never expect to get a long distance train ticket for the train the very previous day.However miraculously i got it and i took my resume folder and other documents and arranged them in two small bags and was off to delhi.I came to the platform early keeping in mind the high traffic in kolkata thesedays specially in the Behala region where the metro flyover is under construction.As usual i took my seat which was side upper and sat there for sometime.The other people in the compartment were all boys and most of them looked thoroughly professional.Some was busy with his ipod ,some with books,some with telephonic conversation.In duronto express they serve meals so i was waiting for them to serve me too.
Amidst all the hustle and bustle with passengers taking turns to take their seats and the waiters moving from one part of the compartment to another.In stepped a girl ,around twenty years of age,rounded face ,dark luminous eyes,cherubic smile ,verymuch resembling a little fat-er Anoushka sharma .
MC said "eki seat e dujon?"
I was suddenly taken aback by the sudden question and the various implications of the said question.I smiled and said ," Na mane amar uporer seat ta".
She looked back at the coolie and said ,"koto debo? 200 taka".
The coolie was taken aback because even he did not expect that for carrying just one large suitcase across the platform one could be so benevolent enough to give him 200 RS in first shot.The coolie was old and realised the simplicity of her heart . He mildly said ,"100 taka dilei hobe"
She took her seat and immediately drew the curtains so as to avoid any visibility from the rest of the compartment.
No further conversation took place .She sat silently for some time and soon her phone began to ring . She picked it up hurriedly ," ha ma,pouchegechi, Oke 100 taka diye diyechi ,ekdam right time e pouchechi ar ektu hole train miss hoye jeto.puro platform tai chutte chutte eshechi.coolie ta na hole je ki hoto ke jane! oke 100 taka diye diyechi"
In the mean time the time was 18:40 and the train started to move and soon gathered pace. Her phone rung again," ha ma,ar bolo na puro comopartment e chele bhorti..ki ar korbo bolo? flight e ele bhalo hoto.. ha mashi ke bole diyechi..kanna kati koro na..amaro kanna peye jache..."
All this while the light from the fringes of the curtains were falling straight into her eyes making a kaleidoscopic effect.Her eyes were well lined and rounded matched well with the face and gave very much the Anoushka sharma look.In the refracted light which was bright in the middle and lighter in the fringes it made a fabulous dreamy look.For sometime i looked at them but then it was kind of unpleasant as she was constantly avoiding eye contact.Now with the curtains drawn in a side lower seat there was conspicuous space issues.With such a mesmerising look in her eyes it was hard to concentrate on anything else.
I somehow decided to break the charm and tried to concentrate more on her belongings so as to know more about her. The luggages were all straped with airport spicejet tags which portrayed that she might have been a regular passenger in flights.Her pink salwar and yellow head gear was blantantly conspicuous. For the first half an hour i was thinking of reading something so as to boost up my knowledge base and help secure the potent self based innovative answers to the questions like " why mba?" and "why this college?" .But then it was getting kind of boring in the middle because with the light falling in her eyes and her unique mannerisms ,it was like toiling within oneself to try to deviate attention from what was very obviously attractive.
For sometime i mentally searched for some issues.I tried out lines like "so you are a regular in airlines? " , " are u an airhostess?" , " is this the first time u have boarded a train ?"," your parents really care for you so much ..these bengali parents are all alike ...even my.." , and so on.. but then none seemed suitable. I took out my mobile and played around with it for some time and then switched on the radio and tried listening to it . But all though the songs were good i was not able to concentrate. Something within was gnawing and asking me to start the conversation because hardly ever such an occurance happens.The more time passed in this constant dilemma the more hard it became to strike a conversation.
Then suddenly on an impulse i said,"acha apni ki It sector e kaj koren?"
And suddenly she turned around and for some time time stopped. I felt within that what an idotic question it was.
MC said," Na ami actually MBBS er preparation korchi..Exam dite eshechilam mashir kache."
In my bid to prolong the conversation I said ,"konta CBSE PMT?"
MC said ," ha."
As the conversation seemed to meander to an end ,i wanted to a add on and i felt lets talk about it even further.
I said ,"IT is a tough exam , i wanted to clear it but then i could not and moved over in engineering . I did my engineering from NIT "
MC said," Amar dada o REC theke pass koreche REC calicut"
I said ,"O" Everything seemed to stop again. I said ," CBSE prochondo competitive exam..tomar kamon holo?"
MC said," Amar khub bhalo hoini amar mone hoi ebaro fail hoye jabo. Time e chilo na last e physics ta korchilam time tai shesh hoye gechilo.."
Conversation moved on thereafter .I told her about how to go about it.I told her to go for physics first followed by chemistry and end with biology because it saves time and is also beneficial in terms of memory utilisation .Most questions in biology are straight forward and if u know u tick it types.And then she started to say about her family ,her brother,her father ,her mother and what they feel about her.And the conversation drew on and on. She told how she has a friend from school days who was in love with her and that he was from a different caste and yet she opted for him.She told that how possessive she was and how she always wanted 100% attension from her friend .She told how exasperated she felt at times over his cold reactions in which he would not exert himself anymore and say that "ami to tomake agei bolechilam je i wont marry you.find yourself someone else".
At times i felt really sad for her at other times i felt that she was just the type of woman i would want in my life.SHe is someone who is kind of a " mad" as she said her parents often allude to her as .She never thought of money and wanted absolute peaceful life with lots of love.Which coincidentally was my stand throughout. I always wanted peace and love and hence wanted just an iim or xlri degree for the sake of it only to later opt out of the race for money and settle somewhere in the villages and teach village folks.I wanted a slow ordinary life . And she echoed my sentiments.She too felt out of sync with the world outside especially the fast paced life of delhi and often said how she suffered in the mundane fast life there.How her friends behave with her and how the approach their life from a totally materialistic angle.With every word she spoke it somehow appealed to my heart making it all the more absorbing for me to hear to her . Because it was like hundred years since i ever heard them .All her ways approaches to life which included her thought process exactly resonated my mothers. I could not believe or think of anyone all my life who could think so similar.
Out from the world of algebra and economics it appeared to me that i have finally made the leap .I did not know where that leap would end up to but given that she belonged to same caste and had the same tastes as i do it meeting seemed to be inevitable .But then time was passing fast .I wanted to stop it somehow.Time flew by from lunch to dinner.It was growing dark outside and soon the lights in the compartment went off too.IT was just 10:00 in the clock too.I was a habitual late sleeper and guess what she was the same too.I too drew the curtains and it was now just one coup of lowerside berth where no one else was looking at.The entire world seemed to begin and end there itself.The time around had just stopped no light apart from the occassional ones that came from passing houses and platforms few and far between.Life outside appeared dreamy too.As if we have become part of the prehistoric era again.The era when people used to think about nature ,love and dreams more than ambition and self fulfillment.Her eyes felt so lively ,her thoughts so syncronous and it appeared that every word she told spoke straight to my heart.I listened and listened to every word she spoke without feeling a spec of boredom. As gentle breeze began to flow with AC gaining strength hour by hour . IT was becoming colder in the coup.She began to talk about my ambitions and then that i will be an ideal husband someday .She asked me about my relationships.I was charmed and taken up entirely and completely to the brink of human existance.IT was appearing to be a complete coup of reality and imagination taking over to the entirety.This train jeorney and meeting someone so syncronous ,someone who was exactly whatever i ever desired for. Someone who had the belief on the very same fundamentals that i always felt true and often been at war with the world.The line between reality and fiction was fast fading.
In my childhood, my mother used to say " life is decided by fate and no body can conquer fate. When there will be time it will happen it cannot be predecided .IT is nature that will always rule in the end.".When i was talking to her i felt the very same. She was loquacious ,elaborate,dramatic ,childish and at the same time very refreshingly different and perhaps hence peerless.The buildings in my mind build by decades of hierarchial learning and heuristic understanding seemed to finally give way to that reasoning that i was born with.The feelings that lay supressed for years for want of support in the name of reality somehow found a peer in her. ANd the eternal bond seemed unbreakable.I knew that she has had a relationship.But i also knew that even if she has had 10 others it doesnot matter because in the end she is peerless and that she speaks what innately ever wanted to speak. Relationships happen and given the current worldorder every woman has more number of relationships and atleast she was frank and candid enough to voice her opinion which is far rarer and devine in itself.
As the arms of the clock began to speed up ,i was becoming all the more obstinately driven to not to let the conversation end. I just did not want her to disappear again . I did not want this conversation just to be locked in the pages of print or maybe just a muse of my life .I wanted to reify into something realistic tangible and may be have her metamorphised as my wife.THe time in this matter seemed to be the biggest enemy. The eternal questions of the likelyhood of a relationship to transgress the very fortress fortified by time seemed looming large in the horizons of freed dreams who wanted to live on few moments more.I did not know how long i will be able to hang on to her so i tried my best to paint her face in the diction of my mind for ever trying to scribble it so hard that for ever and ever it can never be forgotten .THe very crivaces created shall last on till destiny swings.I looked blatantly focussed on her face for i knew i might not see her again.
I told her ,"that this jeorney will never be forgotten . And will live on for time indefinate .Irrespective of whether we meet or not"
Her eyes shone in the dark and perhaps from within i felt the words had resonated too.
Clock stuck 2:00 am . IT was densely dark outside and everyone in the cabin had fallen asleep.Destiny has played it tricks.I was just not being able to sleep but then i knew i had interview tomorrow too. I still did not want to leave for even if i fail i felt i would be happy for ever that i met her .I took out my mobile and she snatched it from me. She looked in the messages ,inbox,sent items,logs and then the pictures and then the alarm. SHe put an alarm at 2:00 am. This alarm was a reminder for the moment in time that shall live on. Since she touched the phone even that felt to be sacred.I never turned off the alarm ever again.IT keeps ringing ever since.
After taking leave from her it was tough to go to sleep. I felt as if sleep could have waited and we could have chatted for sometime more. The words were constantly resonating in my mind.I could envisage in my mind a place in the forests where we have a house and we play ludo everyday. Somewhere where time never starts.We have kids and they live on without any pressure of performance and ancestry.Somewhere down within i felt that my mind has found peace in her.At around 4:00 am i came down and found her fast asleep. I looked at her for sometime and looked extremely like a child.With dishevelled hair all around her face.I felt a sudden splurge of diverse multitudes to wake her up and talk on or atleast do something exhorting that would keep her to me forever and ever so that the day i die i could see her face.But then someone else also woke and was coming towards the berth so I quickly moved the curtains again and moved up and took my seat and tried hard to sleep.
I woke at around 8:00 am and came down quickly and then took the breakfast. THe waiters while serving used to ask me direct perhaps they thought that i was her husband.Which i felt good at from within.It felt kind of warm and happy and measured to be a husband at such short a notice.I knew there was a age gap between her and me but then i felt it was obvious in most marriages and internally i started to feel as if she was my bride. In the morning she told more about her parents and how they are overtly sensitive about her .To which i said ,"tomar baba ma tomake bhalobashe khubi tai restrict kore ..ta na hole aajkal ar ke kake restrict kore..prochondo bhalo bashe tai".
She said," Amar prochur friends ache ..Apni dekben apnar moner moto onekei thakbe oder modhe...ami oder introduce kore debo apnar sathe.."
I said,"tar darkar hobe na.Amar mone hoi na je mon o konodin ar kotha bolte chaibe bole."
She did not say anything more. The waiters came for tip. I gave 50 Rs .QUite impulsively she gave Rs 100 perhaps observing that they were treating me as her husband and she wanted her independence to be underlined.
Just after sometime she said,"deklen to apnar jonye amar loss holo?"
I said,"na dileo hoto tomar"
As station drew closer. I asked her for one picture of hers to remember all my life. SHe did not give me any. But then i looked at her just enough to draw her picture in the canvass of imagination so as to be a lost pencil painting which perhaps will traverse the sea of time for ever. I helped her alight from the train where her father took her with him. I stayed put for sometime in the station and also glanced back a few times to look at her .After coming back i was thinking again to go back in and may be take the same metro to and fro a few times. But then it would not be right because if it is fortune that had figured this meeting may be it will figure another one.If not in this life then the next. ===================================================================================
