Searching for GOD

"In the lush green mountains ,
In the chill of the fountains,
The search remains for eternity,
God and eternal peace which is costlier than un ending prosperity "

 God is a subject of immense truth , a source that is endless , shapeless , timeless which flows across the universe through light and darkness from eternity to oblivion . When my mother had cancer and was taken to Tata Cancer Hospital for treatment , the tension of cancer cells spreading induced me more to think of God than to go into depths of science , even when i was an engineer from a leading brand of colleges of India . While i have been a fan of science fictions and liked to read more about Stephen Hawkings and HG wells brief history of time , in such trying moments the first thing that flashes at the back of your mind is your relatives both dead and alive. The mind seeks to touch devine to find peace and a silent assurance to defeat the unbridled surge of emotions and passions beyond any human control. Time and Time again , the continuous faith in the undefined has kept alive the vacillating hope in even the most medically un redeemable cases . Search for peace in an imperfect world , far away from the glitterati of movies often drives even the most reticent individuals to explore the world of faith . Even on death of a nearest kin , individuals keep searching in the countries and regions of the globe for people who are similar to the lost kin, their mannerism , somewhere harboring hope for a miracle.

While science remains routed to the concept of nth dimensions , God is more of a free existence of faith , hope and source of  endless strength . As a business professional by profession , i find that  Success, failure are very much day to day part of lives of all peers. Some of these peers have found satisfaction in whatever they do , but then the larger group usually still makes do with whatever available and silently crib on past failures which casts a large scary shadows on the immediate unbridled future aspirations and quest for illogical supremacy which often they mistakenly interpret as the only goal of existence. 

Loneliness , competition , nuclear families ,lack of warmth in relationships often serves as traits of a successful individual but then the same also brings with it a sense of dis satisfaction , over ambition and in the end a drive for finding Solace in a separate dimension , a dimension which will not compete but be powerful enough to give more than take and that too without any self interest.

A few days back , while using one of the great management tools of  5 whys ? for analysis of a business problem , i used the following 5 "where "questions on myself :

Q1, Where did i  Come from before i was born?

Q2. Where will i go after i die ?

Q3.Where can eternal peace be found?

Q4. If individuals are born alone and die alone , where in life they actually realise the same?

Q5. Where do Gods live?

The answer to all these above questions are unknown. All though many a time, many a film maker have tried to explore these subjects and come out with a prodigal answer . Some branded God as  Alien . Some tried to portray a  invisible existence in the same planet.These questions however true it might be often get lost in the daily business of life which inevitably end with death in most routine of ways .

One of my friends during one of the visits to a beach in India , wrote my name on the sands. The water of the sea came and wiped it away. I was happy and enjoyed the time with him but then it also somewhere made me reflect that amazing is life that not just in last example but in truth also no impact ever remains. Slowly with time everything is eroded and forgotten.One generation gives way to the next generation and then to the next and so on  and on.

In an era of population explosion , supply demand statistics and cost benefit analysis for all actions , it is however,surprising that the heart of most complex problems in life today always stem from simplest of issues which  have been neglected by any rationale brain. A complicated brain in its bid to control the uncontrollable tries to create a more complex algorithm to beat problems which it finds or percieves as difficult and uncontrollable and then keeps on glorifying himself and training impulses to further the algorithm and generalize it to all possible similar and dissimilar cases ( a very basic aspiration to find simplicity in complexity ) . In the same flow , the mind in its bid to bring simplicity in complexity through finding patterns and defining algorithms often end up self defeated .

 

It is amazing still , that  the joy of getting lost in wilderness for a poets imagination , the joy of getting lost in 95% unexplored brain for a medical professional , the joy of getting lost in space for a astronomer is far far far far more than planning experiments within rigid confines . All major inventions , discoveries have always stemmed from the self belief and spirit of exploration of the undefined which most of authors attribute as something very similar to finding God .  Leap of faith , limitless fantasy and a desire to get lost is what drives a sense of romance which only  multiplies till death . Complete surrender to indefinite and unknown is what is true adventure and a wine strong enough to intoxicate one to live out this entire life to the fullest.

In the end , i feel in my subconscious , i have seen God for a fraction of time , in my dreams , and he was there in the small little thatched hut in the far away mountain beside the lake ,far away from humanity , deeply embed in the peace of a moon lit  night , where there is nothing to pretend , no evaluations , no tests , no success  and no failure , where time stops for ever  .