==============================UDDALAK BANERJEE(UBJ)
NOTE:
All characters of the story are unreal and is purely fictitious . Any coincidence with any of the names of the characters with real people is purely coincidental .
CATEGORY: HUMOUR
It is 3’o clock in the night.From the bath room a very discordant noise is hard “mama lets have a rain mama! Dhik chik dhik chik ..damn ..all the morning the games goes toplay yooooooooooo mama mama”.
Vikram singh parihar ,”kaun besura raat ka is time me bakar kar raha hai bathroom me?”
Ashish Guthania,”APNA marsaab..sudipto sarkar..”.
Vikram singh parihar,”jab kan ke neeche par jayegi na tab pata chalega ..ye raat me sote time bak bak acha nahi lagta …singing chut jayegi..besura kahika..”
Ashish Guthania,”he he he.thakurji aapko bhi inka band join karni chahiye..sunglass lagake..”rock baby rock “ type ka kuch gana ..(smiles)”.
Vikram singh parihar,”Nonsense! Ab programming chorke gana gayunga hum!!kya baat kahi tumne ! wah!jab par jayegi na usko kan ke neche.. ek to besura awaaz upar se khud mu se music .dhik dhik chick chik karta rahta hai..full time..“.
Ashish Guthania ,”ha ha ha .Mera bagal wale room me rahta hai raat bhar ye metal ki awaz me mera kya halat hoti hai aap socho…ab adat ho gayi hai ..Sudipto oye sudipto!! Thakur bula rahe hai tujhe ..bol rahe hai ki molten jazz sunni hai unko ..“.
Sudipto in the mean time had finished his bath and moved towards his room with his usual jump and turn approach.
Sudipto ,“I love you thakur ..lets have a kiss”.
Ashish Guthania,”le le sudipto aaj thakur ka ek kiss ..seedha lip to lip lena .”
Sudipto,”he he he.Thakur lene de tabna”.
Vikram singh parihar in a bid to exert his authority said,”tum niklo abhi room se ..isse pahle ki meri sarak jaye..agar meri dimag sarak gayi na to ek chamat me dher ho jayoge..”
Ashish Guthania ,”he he he.”
---------------------------------------------------
In the mean time in room no 16 which was occupied by UBJ ,hitaish durugkar and gitartha goswami there was a pandemonium going on.The room was populated with all three room members and the night guard of the hostel and also Mahidhar Nyaypati of elex .
“Pata hai yeha is room me ek don rahta tha?”,the guard took a pause and in a bid to mystify the surroundings looked at each of us .
“waha us bed me so ta tha “ guard continued.
“mera bed me?????”,hitaish grew pale .
“ha ha ah ha “,ubj started smiling.
“naam kya tha uska?”,gitartha asked with a smile.
“SOURAV TIWARI ..bo tumlogo ke ane ke 4 saal pahle pass out ho gaya tha.”,said the guard who was wearing a blue shirt and pant and had a stick in his hand.
No one spoke for a few moments as everyone was complete absorbed by the sudden revelation especially the room members ubj,hitaish and gitartha.
“bo uske saath ek bahot khubsurat ladki ko rakta tha ..bo ladki sham ke time nahati thi ..bo toilet me ..ustime kisi ka bhi toilet jana mana tha..”,the guard continued.
The moment this was said hitaish and ubj and gitarth burstout In laughter saying ,”aitihasik room hai ye to..”
Mahidhar who was silent listener then tuned in saying,”acha bhaiya ..ye jo bolte hai ki ..ek ladki ko utha ke laye the aur phir room no 14 kuch 1970s me phir uska rape kiye the ..bo kahani sahi hai kya?”
Then before even the guard could answer ,MAHIDHAR immediately added ,”kiu ki main usi room me rahta hu..raat ke time khirki me koi thak thak karta hai aisa lagta hai”.
THE guard replied,”ha aisa hua tha main ne bhi suna tha but kab hua tha ye pata nahi..main ne suna tha ki uska murder karke us room ke peeche dafan kar diye the…pata nahi ..”
Now for the first time a faint smile started to appear in his face .May be he was accentuating the hidden fears of us the firstyear students .
“kaha mera room ke peeche!!!!!!”,said shocked mahidhar.
“police ko kiu nahi bulaye?”,mahidhar continued.
Githarthi sensing anxiety in mahidhar’s face said ,”are ye ek kahani hai bas ..isko leke tensed hone ki kya jarurat hai?”
Mahidhar said,”are raat ke time na ping pong ki awaz ati hai puch lena bhaskar se.“.
UBJ said ,”kya ping pong!!!! Ping pong kaha se agaya?”
Mahidhar said,”god promise sach bol raha hu ..biswas nahi hota hai to us room me soke dekh ..aaj raat”.
Hitaish in a way agreed to mahidhar and said,”kiu phat gayi na ?”
UBJ said “ha .bas ab shanti?”
--------------------------------------------
In room number 7 there was the great vivek singh markam.The problem with markam was that he always had an inferiority complex .He always felt that he used his rank was 1,70,000 AIR and SC rank was 6000 and hence he cannot compete with others in this college and always used to stay mild and unobstrusive .Prabhakar Sharma our beloved professor saab always used to boost him up and today he was doing the same.In a corner of the same room OMDAGUR from rajasthan was busy reading mechanics.
“dekh markam mera rank 4000 AIR hai ..tera 1,70,000 ..to kya hua ..ultimately tu hai na yeha NIT me to tere andar kuch to quality hoga jis ke liye hai tu yeha .kyun?”,prabhakar said.
“ha lekin main aur acha kar sakta tha ..main gaon me top kar ta tha school me …yeha to mera koi mol hi nahi..sab se last hu ..bas”,markam replied in a dejected tone.
“chor na ye sab bate ..bata gaon me koi tujhe achi lagti thi ?”,prabhakar said with a smile and flapping markam’s back.
Markam blushed and said with a big smile,”ha”
“kyon thi ?bo dudh wali bhabhi ?”,said prabhakar.
Omdagur who was reading with minute concentration suddenly burst into laughter .
Markam looked at Omdagur smiled and said ,”ha”.
Prabhakar said,”lekin bo to tere se kam se kam 6 saal bari hogi ..aur uske bache bhi hai do ..to phir?”
Markam said,”to kya hua main har rooz dudh peene wahi jata tha ..bo mujhe dekhti thi aur hasti thi..”
Prabhakar said,”dekh tit hi aur hasti thi …………iska matlab tune manliya ki ..”.
Markam replied,”nahi aisi baat nahi hai ..par uska chahra mujhe bahot achi lagti thi..uska face figure sab kuch”
Prabhakar said with a smile,”to apne class me kaun achi lagti hai?”
Markam,”priyanka pandey”
Omdagur just couldnot stay away from the discussion anymore and joined in straight away closing his mechanics book .
“bo kali si gandi si dekhne wali PHYSICS wali mam?????”,omdagur.
Prabhakar and omdagur both were already breaking down in laughter and somewhat collected themselves to hear markam’s reply.
“nahi bo achi dekti hai paas se dekhega to..pura madhuri dixit type ki hai ..main first bench me baitha hu ..main usse paas se dekha hai .”markam said.
In the mean time Saurav tiwari and ashish verma entered the room with Sam.
On entering the room Saurav said,”are professor saab ..kya baat hai ..aap bache ki le rahe ho matlab..pura.(looking at markam) aur bata kaisi lag rahi hai nit rr?”
Markam was silent initially .He was shy of sorts so it took some time for him to familiarize with the environment.
“chal rahi hai bas ..” ,markam said.
“To phir body plus aur kasrat kar raha hai ki nahi ..tune kal bola tha na ki faulad jaisi body chaiye tujhe …kya hua uska?”,saurav continued.
“rooz sabun se naha aur phir japani tel laga body me .pura ache se masal masal ke .phir dekh body kaisi ban ti hai ..ekdam champ dekhega pura”,said ashish verma.
“ye japani tel kaha milti hai?”asked innocent markam.
Prabhakar who was already laughing ,said,”dukan me jana aur bolna ki bhaiya mujhe japani tel chahiye ..mujhe saandh jaisa tagra hatta kattah aur chaura hona hai..phir thakur ke saath har roz gim jana bas …phir to bhabi o ki line lagjayegi..ha ha ha ha .”
Saurav with a smile said ,”thakur se le lena ..uska tel ki dabba ..wahi to hai..asli tel ..aise thorai banti hai body..kiu prabhakar ji?”.
=================================================================================
NOTE:
All characters of the story are unreal and is purely fictitious . Any coincidence with any of the names of the characters with real people is purely coincidental .
CATEGORY: HUMOUR
It is 3’o clock in the night.From the bath room a very discordant noise is hard “mama lets have a rain mama! Dhik chik dhik chik ..damn ..all the morning the games goes toplay yooooooooooo mama mama”.
Vikram singh parihar ,”kaun besura raat ka is time me bakar kar raha hai bathroom me?”
Ashish Guthania,”APNA marsaab..sudipto sarkar..”.
Vikram singh parihar,”jab kan ke neeche par jayegi na tab pata chalega ..ye raat me sote time bak bak acha nahi lagta …singing chut jayegi..besura kahika..”
Ashish Guthania,”he he he.thakurji aapko bhi inka band join karni chahiye..sunglass lagake..”rock baby rock “ type ka kuch gana ..(smiles)”.
Vikram singh parihar,”Nonsense! Ab programming chorke gana gayunga hum!!kya baat kahi tumne ! wah!jab par jayegi na usko kan ke neche.. ek to besura awaaz upar se khud mu se music .dhik dhik chick chik karta rahta hai..full time..“.
Ashish Guthania ,”ha ha ha .Mera bagal wale room me rahta hai raat bhar ye metal ki awaz me mera kya halat hoti hai aap socho…ab adat ho gayi hai ..Sudipto oye sudipto!! Thakur bula rahe hai tujhe ..bol rahe hai ki molten jazz sunni hai unko ..“.
Sudipto in the mean time had finished his bath and moved towards his room with his usual jump and turn approach.
Sudipto ,“I love you thakur ..lets have a kiss”.
Ashish Guthania,”le le sudipto aaj thakur ka ek kiss ..seedha lip to lip lena .”
Sudipto,”he he he.Thakur lene de tabna”.
Vikram singh parihar in a bid to exert his authority said,”tum niklo abhi room se ..isse pahle ki meri sarak jaye..agar meri dimag sarak gayi na to ek chamat me dher ho jayoge..”
Ashish Guthania ,”he he he.”
---------------------------------------------------
In the mean time in room no 16 which was occupied by UBJ ,hitaish durugkar and gitartha goswami there was a pandemonium going on.The room was populated with all three room members and the night guard of the hostel and also Mahidhar Nyaypati of elex .
“Pata hai yeha is room me ek don rahta tha?”,the guard took a pause and in a bid to mystify the surroundings looked at each of us .
“waha us bed me so ta tha “ guard continued.
“mera bed me?????”,hitaish grew pale .
“ha ha ah ha “,ubj started smiling.
“naam kya tha uska?”,gitartha asked with a smile.
“SOURAV TIWARI ..bo tumlogo ke ane ke 4 saal pahle pass out ho gaya tha.”,said the guard who was wearing a blue shirt and pant and had a stick in his hand.
No one spoke for a few moments as everyone was complete absorbed by the sudden revelation especially the room members ubj,hitaish and gitartha.
“bo uske saath ek bahot khubsurat ladki ko rakta tha ..bo ladki sham ke time nahati thi ..bo toilet me ..ustime kisi ka bhi toilet jana mana tha..”,the guard continued.
The moment this was said hitaish and ubj and gitarth burstout In laughter saying ,”aitihasik room hai ye to..”
Mahidhar who was silent listener then tuned in saying,”acha bhaiya ..ye jo bolte hai ki ..ek ladki ko utha ke laye the aur phir room no 14 kuch 1970s me phir uska rape kiye the ..bo kahani sahi hai kya?”
Then before even the guard could answer ,MAHIDHAR immediately added ,”kiu ki main usi room me rahta hu..raat ke time khirki me koi thak thak karta hai aisa lagta hai”.
THE guard replied,”ha aisa hua tha main ne bhi suna tha but kab hua tha ye pata nahi..main ne suna tha ki uska murder karke us room ke peeche dafan kar diye the…pata nahi ..”
Now for the first time a faint smile started to appear in his face .May be he was accentuating the hidden fears of us the firstyear students .
“kaha mera room ke peeche!!!!!!”,said shocked mahidhar.
“police ko kiu nahi bulaye?”,mahidhar continued.
Githarthi sensing anxiety in mahidhar’s face said ,”are ye ek kahani hai bas ..isko leke tensed hone ki kya jarurat hai?”
Mahidhar said,”are raat ke time na ping pong ki awaz ati hai puch lena bhaskar se.“.
UBJ said ,”kya ping pong!!!! Ping pong kaha se agaya?”
Mahidhar said,”god promise sach bol raha hu ..biswas nahi hota hai to us room me soke dekh ..aaj raat”.
Hitaish in a way agreed to mahidhar and said,”kiu phat gayi na ?”
UBJ said “ha .bas ab shanti?”
--------------------------------------------
In room number 7 there was the great vivek singh markam.The problem with markam was that he always had an inferiority complex .He always felt that he used his rank was 1,70,000 AIR and SC rank was 6000 and hence he cannot compete with others in this college and always used to stay mild and unobstrusive .Prabhakar Sharma our beloved professor saab always used to boost him up and today he was doing the same.In a corner of the same room OMDAGUR from rajasthan was busy reading mechanics.
“dekh markam mera rank 4000 AIR hai ..tera 1,70,000 ..to kya hua ..ultimately tu hai na yeha NIT me to tere andar kuch to quality hoga jis ke liye hai tu yeha .kyun?”,prabhakar said.
“ha lekin main aur acha kar sakta tha ..main gaon me top kar ta tha school me …yeha to mera koi mol hi nahi..sab se last hu ..bas”,markam replied in a dejected tone.
“chor na ye sab bate ..bata gaon me koi tujhe achi lagti thi ?”,prabhakar said with a smile and flapping markam’s back.
Markam blushed and said with a big smile,”ha”
“kyon thi ?bo dudh wali bhabhi ?”,said prabhakar.
Omdagur who was reading with minute concentration suddenly burst into laughter .
Markam looked at Omdagur smiled and said ,”ha”.
Prabhakar said,”lekin bo to tere se kam se kam 6 saal bari hogi ..aur uske bache bhi hai do ..to phir?”
Markam said,”to kya hua main har rooz dudh peene wahi jata tha ..bo mujhe dekhti thi aur hasti thi..”
Prabhakar said,”dekh tit hi aur hasti thi …………iska matlab tune manliya ki ..”.
Markam replied,”nahi aisi baat nahi hai ..par uska chahra mujhe bahot achi lagti thi..uska face figure sab kuch”
Prabhakar said with a smile,”to apne class me kaun achi lagti hai?”
Markam,”priyanka pandey”
Omdagur just couldnot stay away from the discussion anymore and joined in straight away closing his mechanics book .
“bo kali si gandi si dekhne wali PHYSICS wali mam?????”,omdagur.
Prabhakar and omdagur both were already breaking down in laughter and somewhat collected themselves to hear markam’s reply.
“nahi bo achi dekti hai paas se dekhega to..pura madhuri dixit type ki hai ..main first bench me baitha hu ..main usse paas se dekha hai .”markam said.
In the mean time Saurav tiwari and ashish verma entered the room with Sam.
On entering the room Saurav said,”are professor saab ..kya baat hai ..aap bache ki le rahe ho matlab..pura.(looking at markam) aur bata kaisi lag rahi hai nit rr?”
Markam was silent initially .He was shy of sorts so it took some time for him to familiarize with the environment.
“chal rahi hai bas ..” ,markam said.
“To phir body plus aur kasrat kar raha hai ki nahi ..tune kal bola tha na ki faulad jaisi body chaiye tujhe …kya hua uska?”,saurav continued.
“rooz sabun se naha aur phir japani tel laga body me .pura ache se masal masal ke .phir dekh body kaisi ban ti hai ..ekdam champ dekhega pura”,said ashish verma.
“ye japani tel kaha milti hai?”asked innocent markam.
Prabhakar who was already laughing ,said,”dukan me jana aur bolna ki bhaiya mujhe japani tel chahiye ..mujhe saandh jaisa tagra hatta kattah aur chaura hona hai..phir thakur ke saath har roz gim jana bas …phir to bhabi o ki line lagjayegi..ha ha ha ha .”
Saurav with a smile said ,”thakur se le lena ..uska tel ki dabba ..wahi to hai..asli tel ..aise thorai banti hai body..kiu prabhakar ji?”.
=================================================================================
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